I often watch you sandwiched between two brothers and see so much of myself- your love of reading and creative pursuits and quiet time. And your brothers, well I often watch them and realize that they mostly just love to throw shit and yell and jump off of things.
Someday, you will count those two wild boys as your closest friends and strongest supporters.
Even now, it warms my heart to see the three of you watch out for each other.
However, there will also be times when you feel lonely and left out. There may be times you swear you were born into the wrong family. This isn’t a gender issue, simply an issue of the two of them having so much in common while your interests are quite different.
I know this because I adore your two uncles very much, but for the love of all things holy, I can’t sit through one more argument about who is the all-time greatest baseball player in the history of the American League who was also a switch hitter and wore a blue uniform.
We’ve found common ground over the years, you’ll hear Uncle B and I discussing parenting and education and Uncle Scotty and I talking anatomy and business and politics, but throw me in a room with the two of them and your dad and I usually find myself in the corner yelling in vain over their arguing, “Hey, did anyone read that hilarious article in The Onion today about Obamacare? Anyone? Anyone?”
There is a secret to surviving these situations my darling daughter and here it is: hold tight to your girlfriends.
You’ll hear horrible things about female friendships throughout your life- women are catty, women are bitchy, women will stab you in the back- and you may even meet a few women who will cause you to believe these awful things are true. You need to know that this behavior is not the norm, and is in no way reflective of how the majority of women treat each other.
And as an only girl, you will need these friendships. You and I may not end up being best friends and that’s ok. I’m not sure that I have that “best friend/mom” gene in me anyway and I’d much rather give you the freedom to discover who you are independently from your dad and me. We are always here for you, we’ll need to know the important things and if you are ever in real trouble, but there will be many subjects that you may not want to discuss with us. There will be arguments with your boyfriend, dreams for the future that feel far too fragile, fears of not succeeding. And in the moments, I hope you have surrounded yourself with amazing friends to lift you up.
You’re going to meet lots of amazing men in your life too of course.
Some will become adored friends and someday, one may become your spouse. Choose that man carefully, and make sure he is someone that your girlfriends love as their own. Marriage gets hard my love, and there will be times when you simply want to walk away. Good friends, the best of friends, will be the ones who love and support not only you, but you and your spouse together. The best of friends will tell you to get your ass back in there and fight for your marriage. Someday, you may need to hear this.
You may never know them as I do, but the women in my life are some of the most supportive and loving people I know.
They’re also hands down the funniest fuckers I have ever met. Right now there are text threads on my phone ranging in subject matter from deaf dogs, to a potential marijuana distributing business to ass tattoos commemorating each other’s lives. You see, even when you are a grown up with your own spouse and family and job, there will be times that you may feel lonely and isolated. And when those moments become overwhelming, there is no better feeling in the world to open your phone and find 22 text messages regarding the best way to market ditch weed should it become legal in your home state.
It’s hard to explain, but messages like those are a reminder that you are so much more than whatever label you find yourself slapped with at the present moment. That you are more than a mom, a wife, an employee or employer, more than a washer of dishes and payer of bills. They are a connection to the person you truly are, the one you always have been, and no matter how separate you may feel from that person at times, your friends can pull you back in an instant.
I watch you with your two best friends now and can already recognize how important your time with them is to you.
Neither of them have sisters either, I’m curious to see if this is something that holds true for your friendships over the years. Even now, the majority of my closest girlfriends are the only girls in their families or have a large age gap between them and their sisters. Somehow, we have found each other and held on tight, I guess we always find a path to those we need the most.
Somehow, I know that you will do the same.
Hold tight, my sweet girl.
Love Always, Mom
Love this article? On Photography and Friendship is for you!
Thanks for stopping by Beer and Junk!
♥ Love, Kelly ♥